Morag and The City of the Dead walking tour in Edinburgh
Having recently returned from Edinburgh...I decided to pen this post for people who were unfortunate enough to go on The City of the Dead walking tour in Edinburgh, or who are wondering about taking the tour when they visit Edinburgh
Firstly, we really enjoyed our trip. The people (most of them) were very friendly. But this post is not about our trip....its about Morag (all run in terror from her mighty roar!!!!)
< INSERT SMART ARSE BLOG POST HERE >
Don't mind if I do. Things went bad early on in our tour. We had some drunken muppet who kept making silly noises and looked like he was out of his mind (and probably was) on drugs. The tour started on the Royal Mile, smack bang in the middle of the old town. Our guide introduced herself as Morag. She certainly looked the part clad from head to toe in black, cocooned in a 3 quarter length PVC jacket with Klingonesque boots! < INSERT STAR TREK JOKE HERE >
I guess our first problem with Morag was her use of the "INSERT X JOKE HERE". She frequently made obscure references to parts of Torch Wood and Monthy Python as tour advanced. Her humor was only ratified by one lad at the top of the tour who roared with laughter (obviously her brother). Not a serious crime you might say.....well the clincher for our group anyway was when she compared the Irish to the Americans (offending half the tour in doing so). She explained how the Irish were usually drunk at the back of the tour giggling like school girls, and the Americans were busy asking silly questions. Well Morag you now know that I was busy at the back of your tour making mental notes of how I would present your horrible tale to the world ;) With the malevolence of all your Edinburgh Poltergeists I now spurt out that story!
The second faux pas on your part was your disgraceful reference to being a lesbian. When one of our group took a picture of the castle at night (which was far to your right mind you), you said "No flashing please, unless you are an 18 to 25 year old female". 2 things happened at that moment; 1. you horrified most of the tour who uncomfortably laughed 2. You created this web page.
The final nail in the coffin
Abused and angry, we left the City of the Dead walking tour. In classic Irish fashion we did not complain in person....we stored up our anger and then talked about it, hammering down the finer points of what would make up this post. Feeling cheated we decided to go on another walking tour!!! This time we went with Auld Reekie Tours We were happy to find a much nicer guide who went out of her way not to offend us, and did not make stupid Torchwood jokes....and who was not called Morag. In passing our guide asked had we done any other tours? We told her we had............She then asked us who our guide was. We told her. She then explained how that person had once worked for Auld Reekie Tours, but had been sacked. It all became clear.
Conclusion
Don't go on the City of the Dead walking tour as one of the guides called “Morag” is a "Garbage Bag". Go on the Auld Reekie Tours as the tour guide we had was great!